10/19/16

dis.so.ci.a.tion

Here's a fun post where I write a lot of things without really thinking about what I'm writing.

I was not really expecting for things to currently be the way they are. No one really prepares you for life after high school, even though that is pretty much the entire point of high school. Sure, they teach you about literature and geometry, but what about actual things and problems you'll encounter? Honestly, I feel like that should be main goal number one - teach kids how to handle situations they didn't think they'd have to handle but are thrown into when they least expect it.
Teach them how to talk to people. Teach them that it's okay to say something that might hurt someone else's feelings if they absolutely must. Teach them about how to figure out who they are and what they want to do or who they want to be.
Some people are very lucky and they mentally have it all together. They know their major, future career goals, if their relationship is going well, how to express feelings. Yeah, those people..I am not one of them.

I am the type of person who would do anything to appear as though I have it all together. And I typically try to convince people that I am fine when I'm not. I'll say or do anything for other people even if I don't really want to. And the really scary part is that I don't really know how to stop, but I see it happening all the time. I'm very aware of these problems, but I physically cannot stop. I would rather make someone else happy than make myself happy. I always thought that was my strength, my skill. And sure, it could be useful at some point, but at what cost? I am tired. Physically and mentally so so tired. Not that I'd actually let anyone know.

Things could be worse. I always remind myself that, even though my life is an actual definition of crazy, that somehow things could be worse for me.
 Even now, when I am so unsure of everything around me. 

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