Becoming a 'Boring' Person

I try to be a person that doesn't let things bother me. You'll notice that I used the word 'try.'

A few years ago I got a call late at night from a girl who used to be my friend.
We were in the slow and dramatic process of becoming ex-friends. She was calling out of spite, to tell me off about things that no longer matter (it was all very high school peak drama.) In the duration of that call, one thing that stuck out to me was that she thought that I had become a boring person.

She said that I had allowed myself to forget how to have fun. That I had lost every aspect of myself that made me interesting...A pretty hefty accusation.

And while I’ve grown enough to not let things like that bother me now, at the time it did. And I guess on some level it still comes back to bother me now, or I wouldn't care to write about it. It made me wonder why she thought that about me. Was I a boring person? Am I still?

When that phone call happened, almost five years ago now I was certainly not the 'life of the party' type. But I thought I was fun at least. I was a little over-involved in my high school days. I was involved in just about every single club (even the science club, which come on...I am NOT gifted in that area.) So it's safe to say I knew not only every single person in our grade, but also a vast majority of the grades below as us well. I was a natural-born people-pleaser. I always have been. Did she consider that a lack of personality, perhaps? 

I have never been one for staying up late. I can even recall back when we would have sleepovers at my house, I was always the one to go to sleep first.
At the time, I was working two part-time jobs and finishing high school. I didn't have the same privileges she did when it came to free time. And I'm not saying that's her fault. She was lucky and didn't have to get a job the second she was old enough to.
I just don't think she had the capacity to understand at the time just how hard it was to balance everything and still enjoy being young. Did she consider my level of responsibility a buzz kill? 

I have always enjoyed having time to myself. As much as I like hanging out with my friends, I also really enjoy time to myself to unwind, plan, and process the day I’ve had and the day to come. Maybe it was upsetting that I would occasionally use my day off to just be alone. 

I don't know what compelled her to say that to me, and I know now that I probably never will. I think that's a huge part of getting old - knowing that certain things are not only better left unsaid, but also that it just downright doesn't matter.

But here is a message to the person out there that worries if they're boring:

Sometimes, we have to focus on the things in life that are going to make us happy. And that will mean that sometimes the people we were close to will no longer understand us. It's not your fault, and ultimately it isn't theirs either. You have to make it a point to make yourself happy. If that means being the "boring" person, then you do it.

(I was formerly a writer for the Odyssey Online. My original version of this topic can be seen here.)